Excited

We have 3 frozen embryos! 3! Absolutely none in 4 IVFs and now 3. That HAS to be a good sign about the ones transferred doesn't it? Well, at least quality wasn't an issue this time. Now I just have to hope my uterus knows what to do.

Positivity from here on out! (or at least for the 2ww)

Maybe there IS reason for some hope this time. The quality of the embryos is much better than we've ever had. Today all were graded A or A- except 1 that was a B. We transferred 3 8-celled, one already showing some "compacting" apparently. That is definitely the best day 3 transfer we've had. There is also somewhat of a chance that 3 others could freeze, and we've always been very certain that wouldn't happen due to poor quality.
Apparently this clinic only goes to day 5 if there are 5 at 4-cells on day 2. Today with only 4 at 8-cells, and with us transferring 3, I guess it didn't make a lot of sense to wait.
So today at least, I'm optimistic and cheerful. I am taking on the role of petri dish and am going to watch tv and read all day.

Now for my records, since I always refer back in my blog:
Transferred
8c-A
8c-A-, compacting
8c-A-
Remaining
8c-B
7c-A
6c-A-
4c-A
4c-A
4c-A-

day 2 update

I'm not sure how I feel.  We still have 9 going and apparently only 1 of the 9 isn't "excellent" quality.  But I don't really know what "excellent" quality is.  Only 3 are 4-celled and the other 6 are 2-celled.  I have read in medical journals that predictive outcomes can be based on day 2 information and that they should be 4-celled (even if my REs always tell my 2-celled is normal too).  So I guess I'm disappointed that only 3 are 4-celled.
A day 3 transfer again.  I am just not destined to have a day 5 transfer.  I don't get to hear "2 perfect blasts" for transfer.  But I know there are worse outcomes.  I'm not sure anything was going to make me feel that optimistic today actually anyway.  My husband and I were talking yesterday how all we can remember is TTC and having these heartaches.  We can't even imagine getting a positive result.  That's not us being negative, it's just how it is.  That feeling of never being able to progress to the next stage of life.
But that is why we have initiated our first adoption meeting.  It is at the end of January.  Hopefully this IVF will surprise us and change our life, but if it doesn't, at least we have plans to move forward with our life again.

Boooooooooooooooo!

We have 9 fertilized.  I know that I should be happy with that number as I've only had that high of a number once before, but I'm disappointed.  It's just the same stats as every other time, which makes it hard not to imagine that the same stats will be our outcome.  5 were immature, just a little below the average.  5 didn't fertilize (with ICSI), again just a little below the average.  We're always just a little below the average.  And I always hope/think that THIS time we'll be above average and get a surprise number.  Fuck, same stats.  Now I hope/think that we'll be ahead of the stats for day 2 quality.  And day 3.
Hope.
Mo - how long did/do you stay on that inflammation cocktail that CCRM put you on? Is it just before the transfer or do you stay on it for weeks?

Retrieval Complete

19 oocytes.
Everything went smoothly this time.  I'm only as sore as expected and am generally feeling well.
The embryologist met with us before we left.  He was great and said he'll call around 9:00 tomorrow morning to let us know the number of mature eggs and number fertilized.  He said "hopefully we'll be able to get some frozen embryos this time".  It's cute to see him thinking so positive.  He obviously doesn't know our history.

CD12 - Jeesh!

Lots of follicles.  And very high E2.  My last 2 IVFs I had E2 between 15,000 and 17,000 (whatever it is measured in, here in Canada) which is apparently too high and at risk for OHSS.   Today it is 21,000.  So I can not go until day 15 for retrieval.  It will be day 14, Friday.   The follicles looked about the same sizes today but all around 17mm.  I hope they are mature!
I am feeling more uncomfortable than I ever have pre-retrieval.  And it seems I am rather moody b/c I am angry at my husband all to often over the last few days.  I don't think I've really been this moody with my previous cycles.
Change is good right?

CD11 - The Return of the Missing Ovary

I am full of follicles.  They look for the big ones and measure them, but otherwise don't count.  And it wasn't easy for me to count them.  It looks like 7-9 on the left and now that the right ovary has returned, about 8-10 on that one.  So I'm going to get a lot.  Funny how I am on a totally different protocol and medications than IVF #3, yet the numbers look like they'll be around the same.  As for quality, the Dr. today wants to try to go to CD15 for the retrieval to see if I can get more mature oocytes.  My percentage of mature eggs has been rather low, so this is his plan.  HOWEVER, my ovaries may have a different plan.  Currently the follicles are mainly 15mm in size but righty has 2 that are 18mm.  And my estradiol is quite high already.  I guess I have to over-hydrate again to try to avoid OHSS.
I'm to go back tomorrow for another u/s so they can see if it's possible to let them "cook" for another day.  So generally good news.  I'm starting to let myself hope a little, although my brain keeps reminding me that I've had great numbers before.