Twins

One of the babies died at 7 weeks, about 3 days after my last ultrasound.  It was a little sad to see that, now that I've gotten my head around triplets.  But no matter how I think about it, I think twins is a better situation for us.  I think I might even feel a little guilty that I feel that way.  But there it is.
We have a "multiples specialist" for our OBGYN who we met yesterday.  He said that I'll be there about every 2nd week.  Nice to know we'll be that monitored now.  The 2 babies are measuring well, one at 39mm and the other at 44mm.  Apparently he doesn't think it's a big deal that they are already quite different in size.  He also said that our chance of miscarrying now is less that 1% because we had strong heartbeats past 10 weeks.
So we started telling people important to us today.  It feels weird and very unreal.  We can move on with planning things and buying things now.
Next week, we go back for the nuchal scan.  We have to make a decision about CVS or amniocentesis or neither, between now and then.  He thinks that if the nuchal scan is suspect that we should do CVS.  It seems so odd that the risk of DS is less than 1% and the risk of miscarriage after CVS is about 1%.  Huh.
Anyway, twins for us!  What a different feeling from 3 months ago.

Quick update

Nothing new to report here. We're still waiting for our consult and ultrasound on the 6th. I am finally starting to gain some weight and seem to be redistributing the weight I already had. The belly is building.
I can't believe we're going to have babies this summer! Wow, I think I had given up hope.

Feeling more optimistic

It's sinking in now.  I'm generally thinking positive.  Now that I've educated myself a little, I feel a bit more in control.  I feel good that I can control my diet and my work duties/hours.  I can't control the fact that I'm quite short and have not had a previously stretched uterus.  So I have plusses and minuses for carrying triplets.  We're obviously going to be dealing with premies, so I'm trying to get my head around the worry that comes with that.  
Our Dr. appt is January 6th.  It sounds like we'll be talking about the risks and whether or not we should "reduce".  I don't know what he could tell us now that would make us choose to reduce, but we'll see.
My symptoms are very light and easy.  I am very tired and still very short of breath.  But I do not have nausea! (knock wood).  I don't have as big of an appetite as I'd like so I eat less at each sitting, but I'm making myself eat every 3 hours anyway.  Oddly enough, I've only gained 1 pound so far.  Although, my belly is a little bigger so I don't totally get that.  I'm apparently supposed to gain 30-40lbs by week 20 so now being in the middle of week 8, I have a lot to gain.  I'm going for 2lbs a week and we'll see how it goes.
And now we just wait.  And eat.

Thoughts..and the protocol info

We're just waiting for a consult with a specialist in "multiples" right now. I feel overwhelmed. It seems we've just jumped into another situation where we'll worry all the time. There are just so many health risks for triplets. I feel like this news has taken away my excitement over finally getting pregnant. What is wrong with me?
The IVF dr. was annoying. He pointed out that they suggested only 2 should be transferred. Not to argue, but just to give feedback, we reminded him how we had 4 previously failed cycles where the dr was ALWAYS optimistic, even when they obviously shouldn't have been. So apparently THIS time they were right. How were we to believe that after all the failures. And why didn't we go to day 5 transfer if they were so optimistic? He basically just reminded us that they were right. Annoying. But whatever, that doesn't matter now.
I totally think the difference in quality had to be the protocol. I have been good with my diet, supplements and all the little neurotic things for 1.5 years. The only thing significant that I think changed was the protocol. Maybe it was just chance or stats, but why did all 3 implant and 3 more freeze? Odd thing though, the protocol was not a normal one. He just decided to use 2 meds almost exactly the same to get me more LH. I was worried it was all guess work at the time.
Repronex 225
Menopur 150
Funny how many people are told LH early on decreases quality yet the only thing that worked for me is MORE LH. Are they just totally guessing in IVF?

Insanity

It's triplets.
How do we go from never having anything implant, to this?
It's such a crazy mix of emotions.  My thoughts are all over the place.
I'm happy to see heartbeats.  But I'm overwhelmed there are 3 heartbeats.  I am so worried about the risks for health problems with triplets.
I need to collect information and educate myself.
I need to figure out how this changes my plan for work (as a self-employed, business owner)
We'll need to move sometime.  My house is too small.
My head is just bouncing from one thought to the next.
And I never saw myself with 3 children...
We just need some time to process.

Third beta

28 dpo - 20,136.
That seems good. The doubling time is still a little slow (52 hrs) but that sounds pretty normal.
Ultrasound scheduled this Thursday, 6w5d. I didn't think it would be until next week. So that's exciting!

Nothing much

Again, thanks for the comments. They were helpful. We've been on vacation this week and it's been great. I have cramping somewhat frequently but it lasts only minutes so I only worry for minutes. Other symptoms are very minor right now and I guess that makes sense since I'm not even at 6w yet.
Tomorrow I get my third blood test and will wait (patiently?) for the results on Monday. Then the ultrasound. I can be patient, I can!