Random positive and negative thoughts

I'm really enjoying reading baby books now.  It feels so nice to move forward and feel excited about things.  I'm continuing to have headaches, but I'm not complaining.  They're livable and worth it.  I'm pretty must just a ball of optimism here.  Our next ultrasound is this Thursday.  I'm wondering if we'll get to find out the sexes yet, or if that will have to wait for the anatomy scan in a few more weeks.  I have my maternity clothes now, and definitely started to pop this last week.  I've researched baby stuff and am planning on going on a big shopping trip for some of those things in 2 weeks.

On another notes, I've read thoughts like this from several other people over the years, so I know these thoughts are common, but here are mine anyway.
It's amazing how happy I am and how drastically this pregnancy changed everything.  Just before this 5th IVF, I had finally started to except that we couldn't get pregnant, but I was definitely depressed about it.  But even with this happiness and optimism, I still have pangs of feeling about people talking about getting pregnant instantly.  Also about clients who obviously don't deserve to be parents, but continue to add to their family.  I'm pretty sure this will never go away.  It feels like something that's changed in me.  I'm more bitter about this stuff and still feel jealous.  And the ignorant comments still piss me off and make me sad at the same time.
I feel so sad and emotional for all of you that I'm still following, who haven't made it out yet (and I know technically that I still haven't - but my optimism makes it feel that way).  I know that sadness and I think it's so unfair anyone has to feel it.  I'm hoping and routing for all of you everyday.
Fuck you infertility!