And then there were 3

What a change in mood I can have in just one day.  Only 6 were mature, and then only 3 fertilized, even with ICSI.  Apparently my egg quality sucked.  So a lot more medication, many more trips to the clinic and in the end we got the same number as last time.  I feel the protocol was wasted.  I feel depressed and have little hope that any of the 3 will make it.  I don't want them put in on day 3 because I'd rather accept it on day 5 if they die before they make to to blast, instead of wondering for the next 2 weeks if one implanted.  I feel like I care about nothing.  I'm bored with my job and all of my life plans b/c the only thing I've really wanted for years is to have a baby.  I know that this depression will pass, and I know I should be hopeful about the 3 (if they even exist tomorrow) embryos that live in a petri dish a couple of hours away.  But for now, I can't imagine how that feels.  I'm so tired of this disappointment.