I am trying to keep busy but all I think about are my cramps/twinges, my what ifs, my past failures. I am an emotional wreck today. I feel like a headache is starting and that is what ALWAYS happens on day 9 or 10 of my luteal phase. And cramps are steadily there. I know that some people feel these symptoms and get BFPs but I also know that I feel these symptoms and get BFNs.
What if these great little embyros can't implant either. The plan was, with a 5th failed IVF, we would move toward adoption. And we will, but it isn't feeling like an exciting option right when I'm in the thick of the 2WW. I felt so elated with 3 frozen embryos but we've had a couple of good quality ones before. We've probably had one every cycle, and they've never implanted. I don't think my uterus allows it to happen. My uterus is against me. I feel these cramps and this mild headache and I feel depressed and worried.
It's a good thing that I have a crazy busy week at work. Hopefully I can stop obsessing.
Done, and Yet, Not Done
6 years ago
Ugh. I wish there was a good way to stop obsessing, but I guess being busy is the best you can hope for. I hear all kinds of things from people about their "symptoms" and it just makes me realize you never know til you know. Sending you lots of distractions and sticky thoughts to get you through this week.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, the waiting. Ugh. I have had bfps for 3 of 4 of our ivfs, and each time I just knew it was over - complete with cramps and bleeding and a negative hpt the day of my beta. (Of course, you know, those bfps didn't result in babies, but still, all the symptoms sure had me fooled into thinking there was no hope.)
ReplyDeleteWondering if you have done the immunological testing to look for reasons your body may reject your embryos. I know it's controversial... Hope you don't need to look any further because this turns out to be your time!
Thanks for the post on my blog. I'll check in on your journey as well. Good Luck! Just think you transferred some great quality embryos and have frosties too! This is excellent news.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're feeling depressed - I hope work proves to be a useful distraction. My fingers are cramped up but not moving from the crossed position for you!
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