A client of mine just finished her first IVF about a week before me. She talked openly about it the whole time, I obviously didn't say a word about mine. She is pregnant. She never thought she wouldn't be. I am happy for her. I think it's great that she didn't have to go through the heartache and depression that several failed IVFs bring with it. But I have this feeling of jealousy too. How f'd up is that? Getting to IVF is hell enough. I don't wish this on anyone (although I may wish that everyone could experience just ONE negative pee stick so that they could possibly understand that it is disappointing).
It just really rubbed me the wrong way today when she said she was going to "try to be healthy now". She is going to "cut down on caffeine and sugar and try to eat less fast food". I just can't believe that she never did this before, struggling with infertility and being forced to do IVF. I guess she didn't have to. It's just hard to hear "IVF is so hard, having to give yourself painful needles everyday". I can't say I even think of the needles as a difficulty. It's the time and the emotional highs and lows and the worrying constantly through the 2WW.
It definitely helped that I am currently pregnant. I don't know how I would have taken that conversation if this IVF had failed too.
Done, and Yet, Not Done
6 years ago
Hi, I chanced upon your blog a couple of weeks ago, and have been reading it. I'm from Australia. Been through infertility treatment since 2005 and still NOT pregnant (clomid x7 course, IUIs x3, IVF - 4 stimm + 5 FET). I really identify with what you said. The needles are nothing compared to the high of each transfer and the low of each BFN that followed..
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your pregnancy! :)
Nothing inappropriate about your thoughts at all! Of course it's hard to hear that, even if you know she struggled to get pregnant as well. So happy for you that you have your own pregnancy to look forward to!
ReplyDeleteSome people just don't have a clue. Hopefully you don't have to see her too often?
ReplyDeleteFrom what I've read and felt myself, I don't think those thoughts ever go away. They just get alleviated a little by the pregnancy/baby.
ReplyDeleteI feel blessed, my TTC process didn't last that long in the scheme of things, but my 2 failed IVFs have really scarred me. I can only imagine how much deeper those scars must run for you.